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Jun 6, 2021

If you told me three years ago, Theophiloi, that the most famous king in Bible was not in the book called “Kings” but was instead in the part named after a dude who is neither present nor alive for the entire thing, I would’ve been real salty about it. Fortunately,, what it lacks in its title character, Sammy Deuce more than makes up for in sheer violence. It’s so much that we had to split it into two, because much like the Mountain Goats, King David and his boys are getting into knives.

Topics of Discussion: Clive Barker (which would be a good name for a dog), the Apostles as dogs aka the Puppostles, both kinds of “DC Talk” that you hear on this show, one of my many questions about Persona 5,  strength measured in lions, the Field of Blades, an extremely β move, curse options, Rimmon the Beerothite, David’s crime-solving micro-sleeps, the climactic and mind-blowing end of the Philistines, a Biblical Sexy Lamp and alleged divorcée, the Neck Verse.


Hymnal: “Backstabbers” by the O’Jays, “Voulez-Vous,” by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church ( )     


Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson!

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.