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Apocrypals

Jun 6, 2021

If you told me three years ago, Theophiloi, that the most famous king in Bible was not in the book called “Kings” but was instead in the part named after a dude who is neither present nor alive for the entire thing, I would’ve been real salty about it. Fortunately,, what it lacks in its title character, Sammy...


May 23, 2021

You may be wondering, Theophiloi, how we could possibly talk for over 90 minutes about 1 Samuel, which contains one of the Bible stories that literally everyone knows. And yes, you almost certainly know about David and Goliath, but do you know about David's vast collection of foreskins? Or the part where the King of...


May 9, 2021

We weren't kidding, Theophiloi. We actually did a full-length commentary track for The Da Vinci Code (2006, Dir. Ron Howard). Did you know this movie is almost two and a half hours long? Because we didn't when we decided to do this. That is merely one of many shocking revelations that you can unravel along with us in...


Apr 18, 2021

We're finishing up our third anniversary special this week, Theophiloi, and the sheer weirdness of Enoch's new career has gotten vast enough to fill a myriad of parasangs. You might've thought you were prepared for everything we're going to see in this, but can anyone truly be prepared for SATAN STORMWIND,...


Apr 4, 2021

Do me a favor, Theophiloi. Take a moment and write down the number of eyes, wings, and faces, that you think angels have, bearing in mind that you listen to this show and we know you know that two, two, and one are not the correct answers to that question. Now look at that number and understand that according to 3noch,...